now i know im nothing to you
30.12.10 @ 11:23:00 PM
This is for the broken hearted (including me myself). I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...
BLOODY MONDAY!
20.12.10 @ 8:14:00 PM
slept at 2+am this morning and woke up at 9.30am~ =] bathed then helped maid clean the house! after that slacked, watched movie~ saw maid was preparing to cook dinner then i said i want to help her, but she said no need~ but i insisted to help, in the end she got no choice so let me helped her. =] she asked me to wash dishes and asked me to cut tomatoes, and i cut my finger accidentally... bleed non- stop, was looking at my finger~ then felt super dizzy and fainted on the floor... =.='' maid carried me to bed and called my mum, blahblahblah~ mum kept asking don't sleep if im feeling dizzy, she scared i might "overslept"! LOL LOL~
Cant sleep! :S
@ 12:37:00 AM
its 00.38am now, cant get into a sleep~ so went to search for blogskins and changed blogskins. =] so today went to church for candle light service 2010! kinda awesome! =] went to bugis for lunch with ZIHAO, LILENG, MC, DANNY, LIZHENG and one more girl idk the name =P she's quite irritating though =.='' same as lizheng. then phone kena taken away by MC, DANNY and him go sent msgs to random person, was like Zzzz... went to dhoby meet WAYNE, and then went lan with MC, DANNY, ZIHAO and WAYNE. played until 5+ and mrted home. Reached home, used awhile laptop, and got pissed~ cause the connection really cmi... =.='' so went to sleep and didn't have dinner. =P woke up at 11+pm~ then continue used laptop~ currently listening music and doing nothing else ler. bored bored bored....
16.12.10 @ 9:26:00 PM
ROMANTIC MISHAPESwoke up at 9+ this morning, ate breakfast then bathed and went to West Mall for meeting MC,QR and EDMUND, followed EDMUND to harvey norman to shop camera~ but don have the type that he wants. Went to pasta mania for LUNCH~ :D cabbed down to orchard with them after lunch, MC snatched my phone over in the cab, then he n edmund go sent some nonsense to two ppl... lame sia~ followed QR took his medicine and then went to LUCKY PLAZA continue to shop with Edmund's camera~! =] MRT-ed to dhoby after that, played lan~ cabbed home with them, and reached home at 7.30pm+. sleeping soon, as feeling abit tired ler~ nights, ppl~ =]
8.12.10 @ 10:40:00 PM
randomlalalala~ so bored at home lor, and the OUTING/BBQ is tomorrow!!!! going with the EHs and some other friends!!! :D :D so today just stayed at home played laptop, msged ppl and watched tv~ and told MARY that i 'date with a girl' and she actually believed me and asked me who is her! then told her that the girl's name is TELEVISION, and she was like 'ttttheheck' hahas xD epic! just now was wishing SITING happy birthday, then she suddenly asked me to be her kor, was like o.O, so random~ hahas, she said i good and caring. then i see wrong and thought she said i good mood, epic... xD and i accepted, she said she like kinda force me, good that you know! LOLjoke~ =P going ICA tmr morning for my passport thingy, then afternoon going meet WAYNE first then meet others for the OUTING! :D:D cant wait sia, weee~! BAILEYS!(lolrandom) =P
7.12.10 @ 7:50:00 PM
BAILEYS!!shitty days~ stay at home for days, nth to do, like freaking boring lor... just tried LYCHEE wine and BAILEYS wine! BAILEYS is super nice lah, though it's like quite choke~ xD feeling abit dizzy and sleepy now, hahas! weee~ think i gotta sleep now ler, and the time now it's only 7.55pm! hahas xD byes~
5.12.10 @ 10:45:00 PM
TIRED woke up at 7+am this morning, bathed~ then after that sat on sofa, stun there and suddenly thought of almighty... hmm, 很想她sia! didn't eat breakfast but straight went down take bus to school for the FAIRPRICE share a text book CIP~ supposed can leave at 1pm, but didn't want to~ becos stay at home nth do... so slacked until 5pm~ quite tired uhhs, even though was slacking almost all the way~ LOL
reached home about at 5.30+pm, bathed and slept, woke up at 8+ and then made sushi with FICA! :D still remember that time i made ❤sushi for almighty nor~ tsktsk! and she said it's NICE! :D currently composing a super long msg for almighty! =] bye, M.Y. lots! :)
2.12.10 @ 10:40:00 PM
FREAKING TIREDran over places for making my passport since ytd, because i lost my passport (yea, obviously) spent over $40+ for cabs and today was abit better spent around $20+ only~ so woke up at 7+am this morning, bathed and then went to ICA with my mum for making a 'special pass' before go remake the passport... then after that they said need the school letter =.='' so went back to school for collecting the letter, then after that went back home took the luggage, because ROSANNA needs it for her malaysia trip~ so waited for her outside school with MC for passing her the luggage... then didn't get to see almighty, kinda sad uhhs~ =S after that went to ICA again, waited for hours for the ppl to make the special pass, was like freezing down there...
met MC,QR,WAYNE and DANNY at bugis at don know what time, then after that shopped and lan-ed! bought KOI after lan-ed and went to KFC for dinner~ MRT-ed back home with them after dinner~ =] currently chatting with almighty and MC~ =]
